i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize