woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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