is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
