Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
