so that wasnt chicken after all
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize