you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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