just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
We just shotgunned beers for America
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Drake has all the answers
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
