what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
