is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
