i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just cropdusted the office
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
