His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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