You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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