I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
whose ass print is on the piano?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
