okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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