Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
