It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
