bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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