Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
