I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
