To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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