I have demons in me.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
We need to get me chipped asap
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
