omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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