I'm lost and stupid without you.
my phone needs a breathalizer
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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