you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
