Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
