I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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