Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
