Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
it glows. i had to have it.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
