Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
