I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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