How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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