He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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