Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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