Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
