someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
