Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
