it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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