I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize