just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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