i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
