So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
