Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
