how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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