it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
