She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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