I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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