So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
