I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
