I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
