i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize