think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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