He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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