my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize