Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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