Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
