You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
