She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I looked at my own cervix.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
