Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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