I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
