I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
