i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I deserve this hangover.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
