haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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