It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
