i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
