they need to just BURY HIM!
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
